Are you allowed to care for yourself?

One of the most basic of human needs is to be cared for. When we are born into this world, we instinctively want to latch onto our mother for safety and security. We are incapable of fending for ourselves let alone understand what is happening. We have just been thrust into the alien environment without any tools to guide us.

Eventually we maneuver our way through this maze we call life, you know, that thing of ups and downs with twist and turns always slamming us in the face, constantly bringing us back to reality.

During this journey we will always be alone inside our head, no matter how close another individual gets to us they can never just climb inside. We spend our days maneuvering around this obstacle and trying to figure out just how to survive, pretty much alone with little room left for anything else.


Believe it or not I truly believe that the human psyche is engineered to instinctively give and care for others. I know that it is hard to believe in todays world, but it truly exists at a core level. It is a natural instinct to want to help one another, I don’t care who you are. Everyday we hear stories about individuals helping each another, although they are getting fewer and fewer, but many times we say to ourselves there truly are good people left among us.

Would you like to see people begin to take pride in what they do and then in turn reach out and give a helping hand to their community? When we are happy we give that happiness back to the world.

I would like people to start using an old simple term of just two beautiful words, “TAKE CARE.”

These two words are the most powerful in the English language for conveying how you feel about another human being. It is not just another phrase to toss in flippantly when you are saying good bye, it is a phrase detailing to that individual how you feel about them.

It is a phrase lost in time but must be revived.

When you say “Take Care” to another, you are relaying to them that you, inside, care for them enough for them to be able to care for themselves.

In the beginning I talked about a basic human need of being cared for, once we have that, then and only then can we truly start to care for our own selves and others.

Throughout life we are always searching for someone to love us, but what we really want is someone to care for us. Once we feel that security we get when we know someone cares for us, then we can begin to feel and give back abundantly. Love can only be built by first caring for one another, it cannot come before that. I am not saying that we don’t give love but what I am saying is that we can give so much more to our partners and the world, living in the feeling that someone actually cares about me.

There is nothing wrong with caring about yourself, in fact you cannot care for another unless we learn to care for ourselves. It is a vicious circle that can be perpetuating, and we don’t even know we have been caught in its trap.

We as members of humanity on this tiny rock, are intertwined with one another whether we like it or not. We desperately want to give love to those around us, we have just lost the tools and have become bitter, so we stopped trying. I completely understand, I have those same feelings myself from time to time.

Think about it, the happier and more secure you feel, the more you give freely, and the better you feel about yourself.

Take a minute to reflect about those in your life and even those you pass on a daily basis. All of them along with you are searching for the exact same thing, to be cared for. I am not talking about objects as gifts but human caring as the gift.

Say “Take care” to your loved ones when ever you can, let them know that they can rest in the feeling that someone acknowledges them and cares for them, allowing them the freedom to care for themselves and pay it forward. This in turn will start to allow you the freedom to take care of yourself. Giving of yourself also allows you to accept that you are a caring person allowing you to grow you even more.

Take care and I celebrate the spirit within you that you have to give.


P.L. Hogan

Leave a Reply