Like the old adage “The only things guarenteed in life are Death and Taxes”, there is one more that I can add to the list, you will attract wounded birds!
Whether you are a male or female throughout your life, maybe the majority of it, others in need will seek and find you out. It’s like we have a sign on our forehead, you know the 5¢ that Lucy has in the Peanuts cartoons, okay I’m dating myself, that say’s Pyschiratric help and open for business.
Some may only be in your life for a short while others are a long project in progress.
What the INFJ needs to learn is that while we want desperately to fix the world, we can’t. I know that’s a hard truth to take in but understanding this will stop you from being a wounded bird yourself, this is probably the hardest lesson to learn!
You will very easily get wrapped up in their world and absorb the negative energy that they are putting out. Sometimes you may actually take on their persona drawing you down deep into oblivion.
I use the analogy of the movie Inception, dreams within dreams, where you are inside of darkness within darkness. We almost need a Tell, like Cobb uses his totem to bring us back to the reality that we have slipped and are heading deeper outside of our mind.
You set limits for two main reasons; 1. You will become a wounded bird yourself and there will really be no one else around to help you because we are our own therapists. 2. You will not be able to fulfill one of you our own basic traits which is to help others in need, which in itself when you realize you are not doing that will drag you down further since we are also our own worst enemies.
So where does that leave us? How can we help those in need but not succumb to their darkness?
Honestly, it will not be easy! There is no hard and fast set of rules you can follow because each person who comes to us will have a different set of needs, we will want to help them work out.
Pay attention to your own mind and body. Are you skipping a morning routine you have always done? Does the world feel darker, more so than usual? Has even a friend or acquaintance asked you if everything is, okay? We are great at hiding our own feelings so if someone else picks up that we aren’t quite right then that would be an enormous tell that we need to reevaluate our own psyche and seek out what has changed.
In the end I am not telling or even suggesting that you not allow these creatures who need help into your lives, in fact I suggest you welcome them. We love to gather data as we go about our daily lives, that is what builds our character and fortitude, and this is one way to help strengthen our inner being.
We grow more than any others mentally and spiritually, in my humble opinion, hey I am an INFJ so what else did you expect me to say? You will survive these encounters even if you slip a little and lose a little during that time but trust me you will come out on the other side stronger than ever.
Namaste everybody and take care of yourself.