The subject I am about to discuss applies to both male and female INFJ’S. All of us are empowered with the ability to be empathetic and adaptable to almost any relationship we choose to be a part of.
First off, I want to point out that you will more than likely have many failed relationships during your lifetime, I truly hope you don’t and find that one. Unfortunately, the very things that make us who we are will cause us the most amount of pain. As an INFJ you will attract those who will need you it’s just a matter of who we are.
If you are just starting out, then you will go through a learning curve that can be downright horrible! However, I don’t want that assertation to mean that you should not go forward and be with the one you want, if the first one works that will be wonderful.
At 65 I have had many failed loves which used me and tossed me aside when they got what they needed, but the biggest thing that keeps me going is that fact that there may still be that one person who will be there to support and care for me as I do them.
That’s right I refuse, just as you should if you have one of these, to simply lay down and give up! Yes, you will need to retreat to your safe area, wherever that may be, and get you head back together but don’t retreat forever. Once you have recovered you should go forth, if you wish to, and find someone who compliments you, but this is no easy task.
To me, giving up and not going forward means that the other person has won achieving their ultimate goal of defeating you but that is not in an INFJ’s nature. We are resilient!
We also learn from our mistakes! However, what you must not do is hold what one partner did in a past relationship against a new partner. With our knowledge we can go forward and look at things from a new perspective and be able to determine if our newfound partner acts the same as our past one but just because they may do something once does not mean that they are habitual in that action.
I know it will be difficult, but you must give others an equal chance however you will still be on the lookout for unacceptable behavior.
I hope your life does not have too many bumps in the road but always remember that you are still that same thoughtful and resilient person you were before just a little wiser.
Please take care and if you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask.